Remembering Today...

You might think I'm talking about this presidential inauguration which frankly seems like a joke to me but I'm not... though I might. *note: I'm referring to the inauguration and all the brouhaha that's gone along with it this year, not the president per say. What I'm actually talking about is today is Eli's 11 month anniversary? angelversary? deathaversary?... it's been 11 months since I delivered Eli. It's odd. It feels like a big date because it's the last one until next month which will mark a year. I know that by his one year, I will not be pregnant. No way, no how. I was hoping that would help take the edge off of it and instead I'm no closer to baby number three than I was a year ago and I'm still very much grieving Collin's loss. Good grief.

I suppose all of the events of today are helping to add to my stress today. I know that my opinion is only shared with slightly less than half the voting population but I find it totally annoying the way that the media has been approaching this inauguration. It's not a rock concert. It's not the Superbowl. Barack Obama is not a god. I should not be made to feel like I'm a "bad American" because I didn't go out and buy chips, a taco dip tray and throw a party. I did not even come close to welling up while listening to Obama speak. I was talking with one of my friends earlier today and had mentioned that this doesn't seem like a nation of men, it seems like it's a man of a nation.
And that scares me.
I honestly don't believe that so many other countries throughout the world are praising the outcome of the election because they think that we will be a stronger nation under President Obama. Gosh, I hope I'm wrong though. I hope I'm very, very wrong.
Of course I pray that he successfully leads our country out of the messes that it's currently in but I'm not holding my breath. These messes were not caused by one person, they can not be cleaned up by one person. I can only hope that he doesn't make decisions based on "popular vote" like he's running for Homecoming King and he has the foresight so see that every action and delay of action causes a reaction far beyond what any man (or woman) could predict.
It's not about the color of his skin. He's just as much black as he is white so, it bugs me that there is so much emphasis put on the way he looks. It should be about his plans for the future and the way he leads. Really leads, not this lemming effect that seems to be happening but strong leadership. Leadership that makes people think and discuss and come together on common ground even on the tough issues. Not the kind of leadership that elicits the response of "...because Oprah said so." Anyway, this is not a political blog but it's my blog so I get to say what I want ;) And in simple terms... I am not happy about today. It's a downer for me but it is what it is and I get to deal with all aspects of it and tomorrow will be a new day. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I'd feel the same way towards a woman with the same qualifications being sworn in with her extreme feminist followers, intros from the Pussycat Dolls and Barbra Streisand followed by political commentary breaking down her xx chromosomes. It just seems like a circus as I sit here on the outside of it all and all of the fanfare does not help bridge any gaps, for me. Yikes! Enough of that and save your hate-mail.

Tomorrow will be another day for keeping my mind off of things. Jim has the day off and we're going to hit up Sonic, a movie and hopefully have time to get to the wildlife refuge not far from here. It'll be interesting to see it in the winter as opposed to the summer. The same but different I suppose, much like the rest of my life.