It is Set...

Thursday at 11 am. I will check into the hospital and hungrily wait for two hours until 1 pm when my d&c is scheduled. After much thought and wrestling, I think this is the route to go this time. After talking with Dr. B, I feel a bit better about it. It's not new territory to me, it will be my third, so I know what to expect. There's the benefit of knowing when things will be resolved and recovery isn't even all that bad. So, that's the plan. Is there a part of me that has a bit of a problem with knowing what really happens on that operating table? Oh yah, but I'm coming to terms with it and accepting that that's how it's going to be.

We talked about the other options, waiting it out or helping it along either at home or in the hospital and both of those options came back with a high probability of needing a d&c anyway so I might as well just cut to the chase. Plus, there's a part of me that would feel kind of stupid lying in the birth center to miscarry a 13 week baby even though I know it shouldn't be about my pride. It was exhausting and it still took a long time with Eli. Waiting it out has, in the past, not worked for me and I am having no cramping or spotting at all at this point so it's not like we'd just be giving things a boost, we'd be trying to start something from scratch. He said that he only gave inducing a miscarriage, about a 50% chance of working. In the general population it's closer to 75% - 80% but he also said, clearly, I'm not like the general population.

On the upside, the nasty receptionist was not there when I checked in for my appointment so I didn't have to deal with that. I told Dr. B that she had spoken to me the same exact way when I called that Monday morning in February about Eli and that every time I speak with her it's like a confrontation. I also told him that I'm not the only one with this complaint as my girlfriend, who I just referred to them, asked me if the front desk staff was always so nasty. Needless to say, he clearly thought that was unacceptable behavior (you think?) and thanked me for letting him know because he doesn't know if no one says anything.

So, that's where things stand now. I have to wait for a few more days for resolution to this but I have, at least, made the decision and there's enough time that my mom can get a sub set up so she can be here with the kids and Jim can rearrange his schedule so he can be with me. Poor guy gets bored with all that waiting though at least he gets to eat.

I do have to say that I feel a lot better knowing which solution we have chosen. So much of the anxiety comes from the unknown.