Talk it Out...

It's helping, that's for sure.

To remove the obscurity, my sister in law is the "great friend" that is visiting. Oh that's nice, right? But the thing is, it IS beyond nice. It's not like it was a "hey, I'll swing past your house more often than usual to help you if you start to slip back into the pit."
It's more like:
*ring, ring* on Saturday afternoon (short version)
Her: I'm flying out [of London] unless you tell me absolutely no, how long should I stay?
Me: two weeks?
Her: sounds good, that's what I was thinking too... I'll see you tomorrow night! Eeek!

I know, right? You just don't find people like that and she fell right into my lap when "the stars aligned" and the New York/Alaska/Hawaii raised girl met the Montana raised boy in Washington, they got married, and she became family.

Now, I'm physically in a better place than I was after we lost Eli which makes her visit both therapeutic and enjoyable. The kids are loving spending time with her since it's been a year and a half since we've seen her but it's been great for me too. We can talk about it, cry about it, laugh about it (as odd as that may seem, there's still laughter) I can re-say 12 times what I'm trying to spit out if necessary and not have to worry about losing my train of thought, she'll eventually bring me back to my point. She doesn't roll her eyes if out of the blue I just say "you know, and another thing...". She stops and listens.

She is keeping me out of the pit that is easy to slip into when Jim is at work and the kids are napping and everything is way too quiet. At the same time I'm able to talk about it whenever it hits me and I don't have to stuff it and wait for Jim to get home.

Of course, there are still moments when it's quiet, in the shower, lying in bed at night trying to fall asleep, the early morning before I can drag myself out of bed... There will always be moments like that as long as there are parts of me missing, and that will be forever.