Thursday...

Thursday - I like Thursdays... a lot! I think it's because I'm past the day of the week when we delivered Eli. Sunday is tough too but not like Wednesday. I'm hoping that at some point in time, Wednesday will just be Wednesday, no baggage, no tossing and turning in bed, no silent tears breaking loose, no sadness, no pain.


Over the last few days it's been a pretty tough battle for me to stay above water. Sickness? Exhaustion? Sadness? Reality? All of the above? I don't know for sure but I have accepted that this is going to be much like a rip tide. If I try to swim against it, it's going to wear me out, drag me down and I'll drown. However, just like with a rip tide, if I swim with it, let it take me where it's going to go, it quickly loses it's grip and I can safely make it to shore again.

Yes it's silly but it always seems sunnier on Thursday. Even though it's raining outside on this particular Thursday, I've been thinking about Eli's little flower garden. Hey, I've been thinking about the whole yard. Then I think about Eli, the garden, Eli, the yard, Eli, the outside, Eli... they have naturally meshed together. So here is a pic that has inspired me and makes me happy: (from the Internet via my friend S, not my photo this time)

I love these colors! They don't have to be watered!!!

And look... moss, rocks and green stuff... I can DO THAT!

~edited to add~ turns out these are works of an artist who is fairly local! http://www.claredohna.com/

Besides flowers, plants and some yard art, I'd like to add a few hummingbird feeders and a few of you know why. It's a bit of a long story but hummingbirds mean something a little more now. Plus, K loves making hummingbird food and R... well, R likes anything that flies! I found these online that I thought were really neat - much more colorful and interesting than my regular feeder that is currently doing its job.

They look like candy don't they!?

Anyway, today is a good day. I like getting over the hump of Wednesday. I like looking forward to the weekend (which is rather silly since I'm a stay at home mom). I LOVE the fact that this Sunday is supposed to be sunny again. I am looking forward to walking through the yard with all four of us working on deciding what we should add this year. We all talk about Eli, we might as well all work on the flower garden/gardens together. Plus, this summer I was planning on tending to a new baby, instead we will tend to our garden of flowers and hummingbird feeders. I don't plan on having a single all out shopping trip or anything like that. I have used 'retail therapy' in the past with my losses and I refuse to go down that road again. I plan on slowly collecting things that 'speak' to me and building the color in the yard. I do NOT plan on going into debt to work on our garden.

One great thing about living on 90 sprawling acres is that I can pick and choose where I place my shovel and turn over the dirt. I don't really have any boundaries to hold me back and while, in the past this has rather bothered me, this time I can enjoy just picking spots throughout the yard that are comfortable and comforting. I certainly don't have my garden plan yet but I do plan on taking in the sun, feeling the dirt and smelling the air while working on the yard this spring and summer, and the next and the next...