Perspective...

Perspective.

I know that it's all about how I look at things.

I also know that God has given me the ability to choose how I look at things.

Yesterday's "drama" was so silly and was a huge wake-up call . I get to choose in which perspective I look at things.


This beautiful girl is exactly the same size that Eli was when he was born. She looks huge doesn't she? Kind of like the mark that Eli has left on my heart. She's a beautiful, 6 inch statuette that I received from my friend J. She looks larger because of the perspective from where you're looking at her. Unfortunately, J knows the pain that I feel but she was able to see through it and think of Eli and me. "Remember" showed up at my house on February 21st, her angel son's due date.

I love that I have been given the ability to decide about how I choose to look at things. I remember saying to one of my very favorite people, something along the lines of "if I go in and they do discover the worst, they'd better hand me some 'happy pills' because there's NO WAY that I'm going to be able to function..." Truth is at that point that was 100% fact. However, I decided to pray for some peace and there seemed to instantly be a turning point. No, the pain has not gone away. It doesn't mean that I don't care, it doesn't mean that I miss my baby any less than those who choose self pity and sorrow. However, if you've ever lifted weights you know that in order to get stronger, you have to fight through that pain, you have to go back and work at it each and every day. In time, that weight is no problem and you can lift heavier and heavier weights as you get stronger. You just make sure that you have your 'spotter' near you in case you overestimated your ability that day... your spotter will carry the weight that you can't and together, you succeed. Ummm... I'm glad I know who my spotter is!

So, I have had a lot of comments about the castings of Eli's feet. They really are incredible but even more incredible is really how tiny they are and yet, they are so perfect! So, with the thought of perspective on my mind, I thought I'd share another photo that I snapped a few days ago. This one really shows how tiny they are. Even at this size they have wrinkles and toe nails and have left a gigantic print on my heart. ...miss you baby boy!