Two Months...

Two months ago we were holding and saying good-bye to Eli. Today we sat around, relaxed, went out for ice cream and carried on like life was "normal". That kind of hurts. I don't really know why because I know that "normal" is something that I have been striving for. I wish someone here, anyone, had mentioned it but then again I know that Jim is aware of the date and I have no idea what I would say if anyone else did mention it... such a place to be. In order to keep our minds off the date, Jim and I have been sketching out and discussing the layout for our living room while the kids have spent the day playing with grandma and grandpa. We have both decided that perhaps we will do what President Bush intended for us to do with our "stimulus package" and spend it. After our visit to IKEA on a fairly slow day, we were able to really mess around with the proposed set up. There's something that I think is very normal and comforting about "feathering your nest" after the loss of a baby. A regular mother would go in to that nesting mode while pregnant and I have found myself wanting to do the grief feathering too - I've done it each time so at least I expected it. Other than that, I haven't really had a chance to think about much these last few days. Good? Bad? I'm not sure yet. I'll have to wait to see how I feel in a few days.



Since I haven't had time to think about much, I'll just share a couple other photos from yesterday's outing! God's beauty is stunning...