Home...

He's home.

Well, in a way.

He was "home" in the early hours of February 18th before his body ever left mine, but his ashes are home, here with us. I thought it would feel "final"... really, it just feels kind of odd. I find it strange how all these gigantic dreams that we had for this little baby just seem to be diminished to tiny mementos. I am just so thankful that I do have things that are tangible. It's interesting when photos become tangible memories. The love for Eli stretches across the oceans... the photo below was written on the beaches of Europe thanks to his auntie and uncle.

Today was a very nice day here, around 65 degrees, sunny and even warmer in the direct sunshine. I went outside for awhile and just sat in my lawn chair and soaked up the sun... it felt good. The last time I sat in that chair was Sunday and had started to wonder why I wasn't feeling the activity, from the baby, that I normally felt. I had no idea what a difference a week was going to make in my life.

While I was out there, 4 year old K and I walked around the yard while she pointed out all of the plants that were starting to poke out of the dull brown dirt. Leave it to a kid to keep things in perspective. I then thought how interesting it is that with so many of our plants, we have to cut them all the way down to the point that you have to just have faith that they'll spring up and show life again... and they always do. I guess that would be life imitating... life?