Friends I Wish I Didn't Have...

She DOES have a head and even a cute face too but since I didn't ask her permission to plaster her face all over the Internet, you'll have to use your imagination (by the way... does it bug you that "Internet" is capitalized, according to the spell check, yet "heaven" is not? That seems very wrong on so many levels). Oh and no, I'm not magic... Karleigh took the pictures of the day. She did an outstanding job! I'll help your imagination a bit, S. has blue eyes and blond hair that is cut into a longer stacked bob. She is also one in a collection of friends that I wish I didn't have. That's because she too has lost a baby, her first in very similar fashion to my first loss. We met on one of our loss boards and since she's from the great state of Montana, we kind of hit it off right away. Not to mention the fact that she went to college in Tacoma. If she weren't 5 years my junior, you could have said that we were like ships passing in the night. Sadly, we had occasion to run into each other because of our losses.

It was great to meet her face to face. It was like seeing an old friend and of course we hugged when we saw one another. She's in town for vacation and a family wedding so I jumped on the opportunity to meet up with her this morning.

Starbucks, naturally!

We met near the PDX airport so Karleigh and Rylan were pretty entertained by MAX and the planes and the weather was beautiful. We were able to chit-chat, verbally, and it was wonderful. It was so nice to not feel like I was hiding something from someone. She already knew. I didn't have that internal urge to say "yah, well, I have a dead baby..." Not that I EVER actually say that to anyone but there's an undeniable urge to tell people. I'm sure it's just the fact that I want people to understand me and where I'm coming from. I don't want sympathy, everyone has their own crosses to bear, but I'm still trying to get to that point where it's not such a desperate desire to have people understand me fully.

At any rate, I feel very blessed to have women like S. in my life. I just wish that I didn't have to...