Beautiful Chaos...

So, I guess it was Wednesday, we were watching the news and they had a teaser about Grief Addiction. I had planned to watch it since I'm still surprised at people who are say, 5 years out from a loss who are still living with it like it happened yesterday and I have mentioned my "concern" about whether my blogging is causing me to needlessly reveal thoughts or feelings causing me to dwell on things. Well, the kids were running through the house in opposite directions and crashed and burned into one another so I think in my consoling the mildly wounded (more in spirit than body) I missed it. I decided to Google it this evening and came upon the article in Science Daily. It doesn't fit me, *phew* I guess I'm not an addict! But I also came across this other article on a different site that I found refreshing. Refreshing because apparently, I'm doing what I can and what I SHOULD be doing to deal with this in the best way possible.

1. Learn to let go of things that remind you of the person or situation. Whenever someone is lost to us, or whenever we find ourselves in a situation of grief, we tend to hang on to things that remind us of what we have lost. This can be attributed to the human need for something to hang on to when all else is falling: it is the human need to hope for something when all the world seems hopeless.

If someone you love has died, you might want to keep a few mementos of his or her stay on earth. However, you will need to let these things go little by little. By letting that photo, dress, or figurine go, you are also letting the person go, and letting the grief dissipate. Think: would the person have wanted you to waste your life pining away for him or her?

2. Write a gratitude journal. By recognizing what things you can still be thankful for, you are also giving yourself a chance to see the rainbow through the rain clouds. Take any ordinary notebook or diary and make a commitment to write in it at the same time every day. List down five (or more) things that you are thankful for. They can be as simple as seeing a rose bloom, or great as getting a long vacation from work.

Make this a habit, until you learn to see the good things through the bad. A gratitude journal works wonders not only in allowing people to deal with heartbreak and grief. It can make all of us understand that there is more to life than misery and pain.

3. Blog about your experiences or write a diary. Writing about your grief is one sure way of letting go of the pain. Unreleased pain can turn your heart into a festering wound: without air and a salve, the wound can go deeper, and will never heal. By writing an online diary, you can also get people to see how you feel; if your blog has a commenting or reply feature, people can also take the time to comfort you and make you feel better.

4. Engage in as many hobbies as you can. By focusing on other things instead of your grief, you can find yourself healing faster.

5. Find a support group. Talk your problems out, and listen to people with the same grief and problems as you. As many psychiatrists will tell you, talking always helps, and a support group can help show you the way to a faster recovery.

6. Don’t go it alone. Do not refuse the help of your spouse, children, or friends as they try to comfort you. The more people there are around you, the fewer the chances you will have to concentrate on your grief.

7. Have a spiritual life. Engage in prayer, or enroll in yoga or meditation classes. There are many ways to feed your spirit. By having a spiritual life, you can find strength and support in divine and unseen forces an important thing to consider when your friends and relatives are not around to support you.

8. Stay away from vices and addictions! People in grief tend to turn to alcohol, drugs, and other vices to drown their sorrows away. Stay away from these! There’s so much more to life than empty addictions!

9. Don’t force the grief away. Keep a mindset that gradual is good. The faster you get out of your grief, the easier it comes back. By keeping this mindset, you can recover better.

10. Help others. Put up a foundation celebrating the goodness of your lost child or friend. Join a charitable organization. Work in outreach programs. If you open your heart to doing good, you can stay away from the debilitating effects of grief and put smiles on the faces of those who come in contact with your goodness.

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Now, on to something a little more fun... you may remember that two of my friends, Lauren and Tasha both sent me a packet of wildflower seeds, they didn't plan it, yet they arrived in my mail box the very same day. Anyway, Karleigh (with some help) decided to put them in a much neglected corner of the house - it was HER project. She weeded it, she planted them, she waters them and talks to them. Needless to say, they're doing quite well and I can't bring myself to thin them out yet.

Yes, it's a bit of a chaotic mess when you first look at it, we didn't exactly follow the directions...

If you look closely though, since they're just starting to bloom, you will see that they are actually quite alive and very interesting!