Circle of Life...

Last night, we received a little gift. As you recall it was one of Eli's due dates and around 10 pm the first butterfly broke free from its chrysalis. It was really cool to watch it spread it's wings even though it seemed a little dazed. I watched and watched the other 3 that looked as if they were on the verge of emerging but finally had to drag myself to bed. When Jim woke this morning, there were 4 butterflies flitting around. The 5th is still a few days behind. He's the same one that, as a caterpillar, kept eating and eating and eating and finally made his chrysalis a few days after the others. We have decided that on the 7th, we'll release at least the 4 that are out right now. We don't want to risk them dying while waiting on the slow poke.

The darker the chrysalis, the closer they are to emerging...

The underside of the Painted Ladies' wings are kind of a yellow color with blue accents...
With their wings open, they are a beautiful orange and black...

It was nice to have this bright spot in the day. My ultrasound and appointment today went just as I expected. Not as I had hoped, but as I expected. It didn't take long to discover that my uterus was empty, on the bright side, so are my tubes so the fear of an ectopic has mostly passed. I was told that it is still possible that there could have been something that didn't show but most likely, and I agree, we are in the clear. The ultrasound tech checked everything out and had nothing but compliments for my ovaries. Hey, at least they're pretty, even if they don't behave like they're supposed to... anyway. After my suspicions were confirmed, I met with yet again another Dr. in the practice. Dr. F was great to talk to and though I'm quite irritated (a bit) that he won't just order me up another round of Clomid for this month, he wants me to have a full panel of diagnostics drawn, if that's what I want. He commented that 5 losses is uncommon and unfair and too often things are overlooked when you may have just gotten really lucky to have two healthy children. He wants to make sure that my hCG betas are back below 5 before we order the clotting panels so they're as accurate as possible. He did mention that he couldn't stop me from trying on my own and sometimes that's just the way it works.

It was nice to have a doctor take an interest and admit that I should be receiving more answers than I'm getting. He also told me that he would be happy to take me on as a patient at any time which is really nice but it's hard for me to just walk away from Dr. B. I guess that's part of my loyalty issue and I need to put myself first on this one. So, that's where things stand. I know that there were a lot of people praying for a miracle. Just because this pregnancy has ended too, doesn't mean that I won't get that miracle.