The short version is: I had Rylan's IEP meeting today. Not "we" because, understandably, they didn't want Rylan to sit through it so Jim was at home waiting for the buses. It was just your basic, see what his improvements were this year and talk about the plan for next year. He's on an IEP for speech and his speech IS improving. This time last year, he had 36 phenome errors. This year he had 19 during the assessment. He's still having trouble with his blended sounds, he drops his s's quite often, etc. etc. none of it came as a surprise to me but it was nice to see the actual number improve. So, yay! Great job Rylan and good job Speech Language Pathologist!
He's very intelligent, gets along with others, has incredible fine motor skills...
But... "you know, he licks his lips, stutters, chews on his fingers and clothes, blinks his eyes a lot, has a tough time keeping his voice at a reasonable volume..." Um, yah. We've noticed that a. lot. and I guess I asked for it when I requested that we address ways to help him diminish those nervous activities. So instead they just repeated what they told me when I asked about how to help those things earlier... 1)respond to what he is saying NOT how he is saying it 2) give him your attention when he has something to say 3) get down on his level 4) reduce stress/discipline. Here's the thing... we do all of that all the time unless he's interrupting and that should be expected. Plus that's one of the areas he needs to work on when we discussed social skills, but I digress...
As the SLP elaborated, the solution that I heard: quit being so tough on him, don't send him to timeout so much (doesn't matter what he's doing, pick just one thing that is punishable - ok, right, so timeout for hitting but I guess we'll just allow the spitting, yelling, talking back, throwing toys, kicking the dog, ignoring us, being defiant - he's 4, trust me, the list goes on) stop stressing him out at home, make sure things around him are peaceful and organized and calm...
It's a good thing that calm, mellow Stella was sitting so quietly in her infant seat as usual.
Oh wait, that's right... she screamed.
the.
entire.
time.
She started crying as soon as I set her down. So I took her out and she started fussing and crying louder. The principal (who was the district representative for the meeting) took her and walked her around the classroom while the other two talked to me but she just got herself all worked up.
By the end of the meeting, I was sweating like a pig and just wanted to sob with her. Instead, we calmly walked back to the van and I let her suck ;)
Anyway, they're cutting him back to 3 days a week next year... speech days and library day. If the schedule is the same as this year, that means Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons. After some thought, I'm actually OK with that. It'll give us some non-Karleigh time (which has proven to be very good for him since she's a "tad" bossy) plus, that'll be two week days that I'll be able to get Karleigh off to school in the morning and not have to worry about getting home until almost 4pm. It will be fine. Plus, things need to change around here. I don't know how, I feel like I've tried everything but you know... if timeouts are out...
*cough cough* perhaps IEP meetings should not be attended when you're six weeks postpartum... mom could be a little hormonal. But it's there in black and white, hormones or not.
I feel like such a sucky mom. He's smart as a whip because HE'S smart. He has speech problems because of things that I'M doing wrong.
Awesome.
4 comments:
I don't even know what to say. I want to go yell at someone for you. Don't let them be the expert on YOUR children. You know your boy and you are equipped to be his best helper/teacher. I HATE when the "authorities" make moms feel like they don't know what they are doing or that it would be better to just follow their advice than your own God given gifts and instincts to raise and teach your own child. He's great and you know it. And a lot of that is because of you and the rest is just how God made him. He'll be great whether or not you bend over backwards trying to do what the "experts" say. Relax. And let Rylan learn and grow how HE is supposed to. He only fits in a Rylan shaped box, not the steryotype box that everyone thinks he should be like. Extra prayers for Rylan! He'll bloom in his own time! Trust your gut!!! Your a super good mama!
Oh Kristi, I so know how you feel. It seems that no matter what we are doing, it sometimes feels like the wrong thing. Every day my 4 year old presents a larger challenge than the day before. You know you do NOT suck as a Mommy. This is what you hang on to. Sometimes the "experts" are only experts in theory. You know your child. Go with what your Mommy instinct tells you. It's hard sometimes, but it's usually right!
This reminds me when tiago wouldnt talk and we had him evaluated. well now of course the kid wont stop talking. I still think he has some delays or issues but im waiting till he gets to pre school because he eventually figured out the talking thing and i think (mommy degree and wishful hoping) he will figure out the rest of this stuff too. They are who they are and we love them for all their quirks, it makes them, them. Experts only see them in a classroom setting, maybe these behaviors may only be in a classroom or around a teacher, etc, etc. So many factors could be thrown in, that i just throw them all out the window. Thanks for the info, i will keep it in the back of my head. If any of this made sense. You know your an amazing mother, every one knows especially your kids.
-h
Oh. My. Shit. Oh my fucking shit. Um...I don't know what to say regarding that IEP but there is so much wrong on so many levels and I want to stab someone or something.
And cut yourself some slack. You guys are an amazing family. <3
Post a Comment