What's in a Name?

We've known for quite some time what we will be naming this little lady but haven't been screaming it from the roof-tops. Why not? I'm not too sure. Maybe it makes it all too real. Maybe because it makes ~her~ all too real. But she is real.

If someone asks us, we tell them with a smile. It's the only name that has felt right, has felt like ~her~ and at the same time fits the silly "rules" that Jim and I have adopted when it comes to naming babies.

Silly rules first:
~ should not start with the same letter as our other children
~ two syllables are preferred
~ incorporating an L near the middle is a bonus (this rule makes no sense, yes, we do realize that!)
~ should not be in the top 100 names as listed by the Social Security Administration
~ should have a positive or at least neutral meaning, certainly not negative
~ the kids should be able to pronounce it
~ can not lead to swearing when singing the "name, name, bo, bame, banana, fanana, fo, fo fame..." song :)
~ bonus to incorporate family names but not to the extent of having two "cousins" with the same name
~ and we have never been able to bring ourselves to "re-use" a name that we had considered in a previous pregnancy

So, with all of that in mind, our new baby girl will be named:

Of course, I'm a Gemini so all decisions that I make, can quickly change! Karleigh didn't have her name until I was about 7 months along. She was going to be Aubrey. However, I had a meltdown in the car one afternoon and freaked out and said "I just can't name my baby that, she doesn't feel like a Aubrey!" In Jim's infinite calmness he said "well... then don't..." and then he proceeded to suggest Karleigh and the reasoning, etc. etc. I can't imagine her as anything else. But back to Stella, it still feels right.

Stella has a very simple meaning: star.

The truth is, it seems that this name has been being screaming at us for months. Now, I'm not a big looking-for-signs type of person...

That said, since mid-August my "status update" on BabyCenter has been "Wishing on a star...". I haven't been able to bring myself to change it yet.

I also have a kindred spirit on one of my loss support boards who sent me the neatest "intentions" bracelet. It was made of string and had two black pearls with a silver star charm dangling between the two of them. The point of the bracelet is to state your intention/wish etc., tie it on and when it falls off that intention is realized (that was likely a very poor explanation). At any rate, I tied it on obviously "intending" to have a healthy baby. At 16 weeks (the same exact gestational age and week day - a Sunday - that Eli's heart stopped beating) we went to IKEA. When we got back to the van I noticed that my wrist was bare. The bracelet had fallen off that afternoon. At first my heart sank and I frantically looked around my seat in the van but then a realized perhaps that was just the nudge that I needed to get over that stress filled day. As we know now, everything is still fine.

As anyone who has been through a situation even kind of similar to ours knows, it's not always the most vocal supporters that say the right things. Sometimes there are quiet players who come to the surface at just the right times. One of these types of women suggested Stella. And then another more vocal friend also suggested it, and then another.

I finally thought "OK, this must be it. I love it but I wonder what Jim thinks..." So, because we're so tech savvy like that... I texted him. "Don't reply, just think. What about Stella?" And you know what?
He didn't reply! LOL
Finally, my impatience won and I texted him back again with something along the lines of "OK, time's up, what do you think?" He replied with, "I like it. You do realize that was my great-grandma's name right?" Um, yah, once upon a time, but I had totally forgotten about it at that moment.

Since then there have, of course been more things, an outfit that our sister-in-law sent covered in stars. A name a star bear that the kids got after visiting "Santa". Looking for crafty ideas for the girls' room and the first return being a "Stella" project. The list could go on and on but I've spent enough time writing about it for now I think.

So, now you know who you've been praying for. I like having a name when I pray for her even though I know it's not necessary, it's nice.