I was lying in bed this morning, or last night, or somewhere in between being woken up by a hot flash or a bad dream and started questioning things.
Is this baby going to make it?
Can I handle 3 kids?
Why have I been the one chosen to walk this path?
I don't know.
Anyway, I was thinking about maybe I'm just pushing too hard for something that isn't "supposed" to happen. Praying too hard for something that wasn't meant to be... I don't know. It doesn't need to be a blame game but it's hard not to look for reasons. The rational me (don't laugh, there's a rational part of me) knows that this is not how God works but at the same time the irrational me says "well, you asked for it". At any rate, this morning I read this post about this type of thing and frankly, Jennifer puts it much more clear than I could have at this point.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
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3 comments:
Both great posts. I read a preggo mom's blog that says, "i just wish this would be over already". While i know she meant no harm to her unborn of others moms, I was shocked because sometimes we say or pray for things, not knowing what we are really asking for.
-h
God has given you the desire to try again and NOT give up hope for a reason. A lot of us would have given up by now... I'm amazed at your strength. He's given you this baby, just like all the others, for a reason. But you already know that. :) I've been thinking of Eli and you this week, praying for you and this new little one!
Oh Kristi - you are on my heart - I will be praying both for your health and your heart!!
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