Life... Continued.

First, aren't those flowers pretty? My aunt and uncle brought them when they came to visit this weekend. I love the way stargazer lilies look and I've recently come to realize that I really don't care for how they smell. I'm dealing with it though since they're so dang pretty and who doesn't love some nice cheery flowers brightening up the house?!?

On to the real point of this post...

I'm pretty sure that most people have noticed that I've been pretty quiet and I have heard that that's raised some suspicions. The truth of the matter is that I've just been in a really strange place mentally. As I recall, a few months back I commented about a medication that was suggested that we try. By "we" I mean, I take it and Jim waits to see what kind of crazy side-effects it has that he gets to deal with.

The medication that was suggested was Femara. If you google it, it'll come back that it's a breast cancer medication and that you are not in any way supposed to take it while you're pregnant. That's all good and true except that the most common side effect is the return of menstrual cycles in post and peri-menopausal women. So, it's also Rx'd off-label to work like, but in a different way than, Clomid. Out of 10 pregnancies, only 2 were conceived without Clomid and both Karleigh and Rylan are Clomid babies. So, one would assume that if the Clomid worked, the Femara should too. The other plus is that Femara isn't supposed to have the same negative effect that Clomid can have on the uterine lining. And technically? You're not taking it while pregnant. It has a very short half-life and only encourages your ovaries to produce a good follicle.


So, last month I tired it.

And I ovulated well according to my BBT charting, OPKs and day 21 progesterone level which came back at 22.13.

Then this:

Wow. I had a little internal battle with myself... do I go in for beta's? I know there's a stat order just waiting for me at the lab. They brought both the day 21 progesterone and the hcg quant order when I was in there and asked which I wanted. I finally decided to go in and have it drawn since, though it can be stressful, knowledge can also be power.

At 15 dpo my hcg quant was 513. That was great news and I breathed a sigh of relief and promptly started worrying if that would double in 48 hours like it should.

48 hours later I returned to the lab and waited for the phone call. And waited. And waited. I finally called back, was put on hold after I said who I was and was told "V will give you a call back in about 10 minutes." Ok, insert massive nerves here. "V" is the u/s tech and I wasn't given any numbers. Was she going to be calling because numbers were falling already?

After an hour and a half I couldn't take it anymore and called back. The receptionist greeted me with a happy tone and a "I just tried to call you!" After reminding her that we changed our number, she updated it in the computer and promptly scheduled me for an u/s for next Wednesday. I finally worked up the nerve to ask what the new numbers were. At 17 dpo my hcg quant was 1609. They did not double in 48 hours, they more than tripled.

I have learned that researching on the world wide web is a world wide web of danger. Only God knows what our next challenge will be. Kind of curious why I can't catch a break for just a normal by the books, boring pregnancy? But I'm praying for a happy ending.

Of course this morning came with a call from the doctors office of: "Hey Kristi, Dr. B really wants you to come in again for another beta tomorrow since it's rather high..." Ugh, I know it's high-ish but it's still totally within the gigantic range of "normal" and it's not going *down* so that's an improvement, right? I've got friends who have been on all sides of this and I really just need to quit reading anything into numbers. Numbers that are increasing. And at this point? That's a blessing in and of itself.

So, that's where things stand now. We are beyond the threshold, number wise, of our early losses but I also know that there is no "safe zone" so I continue to pray for peace and the health of this new little life.

And again, this is our info that I have chosen to share with you... it stinks to have to un-tell so please don't put yourself in that position :)