Sunny Sunday

Turns out, I've used that title before. It was a sunny Sunday though, at least on the outside. The weather was such a welcome sight. Jim mowed the lawn, I planted some more flowers, did some weeding, the kids played outside all day and yet, I still couldn't totally kick the funk. Granted, I don't expect to totally be "over" everything. Bottom line, I lost another pregnancy less than a week ago - that's not fun. I keep wondering what, if anything, the additional tests will reveal - that keeps my mind swamped. Plus, just, blah. With the nice weather arriving today, the wind really picked up here around 5:30 this morning between all the thumping from the garbage can, the whipping of the flag on the side of the house and my racing thoughts, I was awake until 6:30. Not fun and was probably a major contributing factor to my funk. Enough of that though.


At any rate, that should not negate the fact that it was really beautiful today. Of course when it's nice like this, I get outside and just sit and listen and let my mind wander. Sometimes that's a good thing and... sometimes it's not. Yes, I logically know that I am going through exactly what I'm "supposed" to be going through but that doesn't make the knee-jerk, emotional reactions to certain things any less. Of course I'm happy when a baby safely makes it into this world but no, you're not going to get much sympathy from me about the pain of pregnancy or how you hadn't "planned" this, or how you don't know how you'll handle it because I guarantee that 'dealing' with a live baby will be a hundred times easier than 'dealing' with a dead baby. Just sayin'...


Phew, I mean it! Enough of that! So, anyway, today was gorgeous and warm and we did get out and enjoy it. Jim even ran to the little country store for ice cream after dinner. It's strange how I could say all that went on today and it would probably sound like a picture perfect life but there's that underlying stuff that I'm really trying to get past... and that part is hard.


Since you read through all that scattered, depressing stuff, here's your thank you in the form of a few pics of the kiddos today.

Karleigh just hanging out in the yard.

Maybe not the next great American soccer player!

Yummy ice cream!

Karleigh "hiding" during hide and go seek.