15...

15 is not a good number when you're talking about beta hcg's. I just found out that that's what mine had dropped to by this morning so now it's just a waiting game. Maybe in a day or two, this will resolve itself but since my P4 (progesterone level) is still high, it might be some time. I am scheduled to go back in next week basically for the "all clear" hcg and then I need to schedule my annual exam because even though it seems like it's been a never ending cycle of someone all up in my "business" I still need to have my annual. Fun, fun.

I was SO hoping for that miracle, but not this time. I asked Dr. F when he called, by the way... it's never good news when it's the doctor that calls, what, if anything more should be looked at. He wants to run an HSG, which is where they inject dye into my uterus and tubes to make sure all is well. Of course, clearly we know that tubes are not my issue. It is possible that there was extensive damage done during the D&C that I had to have done after I delivered Eli to, literally, keep me from bleeding to death. That is a plausible explanation. Not that it would explain my first or second or third losses but it would maybe shed some light on the most recent three.

So, that's where I am... out of limbo land and on to the waiting game. I've been reading over this passage the last couple days... I'm still waiting for it to bring me peace.

I Peter 4:12-13
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."