Change can be scary. Change can be good. Change is always... a change.
This blog has been painfully quiet. Let's see, since my last post:
the little guy for whom the shower was thrown was born.
I photographed a birth - different kiddo.
My big kids got out of school.
We've gone on a couple of little road trips.
I started a business!
July tends to be one of those months that I spend a lot of time reflecting. July was the month that I looked forward to during my pregnancies with Eli and Collin. It turned out far different than I had hoped at the time but... is it weird to say?... I'm thankful for the way things turned out? Honestly, I think I'd be quite happy to have never experienced that heartache and loss but it's easier now. It's easier to look at the picture that's developing. As more and more pieces of the puzzle are added, it's easier to see that that time and part of my life was necessary. It taught me to trust. And that I could do a whole lot more than I even thought I could.
It was a tough lesson but a good lesson.
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”
Oh, that business... You can find me on Facebook or my website.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Another First
It's another chilly May day, grey clouds outside the window, a fleece sweatshirt zipped all the way up, and, other than the heaters humming, the house is very quiet. The big kids are at school and Stella is napping.
I've been spending less and less time online and while I've been pretty focused on my 365 project, I've let this blog slide quite a bit.
And I sit somewhere between feeling good about that and feeling guilty.
But as I browse the links to my baby-loss-momma-friends, most of whom I met surrounding the time we lost Eli, I see it's not just my blog that has slowed with the posts, especially those that relate directly to the intense feelings of the first year or so after the loss. I ended up blogging a bit more since I experienced multiple losses on the way to bringing Stella home but that first year is so raw and the writing is so cathartic. ...for me at least.
Seeing the last updated blogs listing "2 weeks ago", "3 months ago", "6 months ago" makes me smile. For all the times that I said "I won't ever get over this"... I was right. But I think I forgot to add "But I will get through this." I don't think it's something that I will ever get over but I have gotten through it. And I would prefer to get through it rather than over it anyway.
This weekend I attended the first baby shower that I've gone to since everything came crashing down around me. Not the first that I've been invited to, by far, but the first that I was physically and mentally able to attend. In part, because I had a "job". I was able to focus on helping decorate and then taking photos for the momma. I am really, really glad that I went and once I was there, it was so much easier than I thought it might be.
My goal for this summer is to find passion - doesn't matter what I'm working on, I want to do it with passion, otherwise, it seems such a waste!
I've been spending less and less time online and while I've been pretty focused on my 365 project, I've let this blog slide quite a bit.
And I sit somewhere between feeling good about that and feeling guilty.
But as I browse the links to my baby-loss-momma-friends, most of whom I met surrounding the time we lost Eli, I see it's not just my blog that has slowed with the posts, especially those that relate directly to the intense feelings of the first year or so after the loss. I ended up blogging a bit more since I experienced multiple losses on the way to bringing Stella home but that first year is so raw and the writing is so cathartic. ...for me at least.
Seeing the last updated blogs listing "2 weeks ago", "3 months ago", "6 months ago" makes me smile. For all the times that I said "I won't ever get over this"... I was right. But I think I forgot to add "But I will get through this." I don't think it's something that I will ever get over but I have gotten through it. And I would prefer to get through it rather than over it anyway.
This weekend I attended the first baby shower that I've gone to since everything came crashing down around me. Not the first that I've been invited to, by far, but the first that I was physically and mentally able to attend. In part, because I had a "job". I was able to focus on helping decorate and then taking photos for the momma. I am really, really glad that I went and once I was there, it was so much easier than I thought it might be.
My goal for this summer is to find passion - doesn't matter what I'm working on, I want to do it with passion, otherwise, it seems such a waste!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Z... Zodiac
I've always found the zodiac signs amusing and entertaining. Do I think they totally rule a person and dictate the way that they will be? Nope. But I do find it amusing that, many times, the zodiac traits tend to be rather accurate.
Me? As I mentioned earlier, I'm a Gemini.
And a "pretty good" Gemini at that!
Don't know much about the Gemini? Google can land you some fun and... interesting... sites!
From here: The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!
Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.
They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?
Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. With any kind of luck, the Twins will find themselves in interesting company, because if they don't, they are likely to get bored and start fidgeting. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. While their effusiveness may be misconstrued as scheming by some, Geminis generally have their hearts in the right place. It's that ample energy which can also paint them as scatterbrained and unfocused, but behind all that zipping around, the Twins are busily filing all that good data away.
The element associated with Gemini is Air. Air signs are the thinking person's signs, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent that allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two.
When it comes to sports, Geminis would seem a natural for doubles tennis -- and they are. They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. Layering themselves in soft yellows and blues will also calm their mood.
So, there ya' go! If you know me, you know that's pretty accurate. If you don't... trust me, it is!
Take THAT! A-Z Challenge! This fickle, blow where the wind blows Gemini finished the challenge.
Me? As I mentioned earlier, I'm a Gemini.
And a "pretty good" Gemini at that!
Don't know much about the Gemini? Google can land you some fun and... interesting... sites!From here: The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!
Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.
They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?
Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. With any kind of luck, the Twins will find themselves in interesting company, because if they don't, they are likely to get bored and start fidgeting. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. While their effusiveness may be misconstrued as scheming by some, Geminis generally have their hearts in the right place. It's that ample energy which can also paint them as scatterbrained and unfocused, but behind all that zipping around, the Twins are busily filing all that good data away.
The element associated with Gemini is Air. Air signs are the thinking person's signs, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent that allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two.
When it comes to sports, Geminis would seem a natural for doubles tennis -- and they are. They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. Layering themselves in soft yellows and blues will also calm their mood.
______________________________________________________________
So, there ya' go! If you know me, you know that's pretty accurate. If you don't... trust me, it is!
Take THAT! A-Z Challenge! This fickle, blow where the wind blows Gemini finished the challenge.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Y... Yummm
I had a hard time with Y today.
I was going to write about "Yellowstone National Park", how we honeymooned there and want to go back because the kids have been begging to go but I didn't feel like scanning my photos. Then I was going to write about "yuck" because it's just been that kind of day, but I couldn't find a way to do it without sounding horrible. Then there was "yellow" but again, I decided to use better judgment so tonight I'm just going to leave it up to one word: yum.
and the clean-up can't be beat!
I was going to write about "Yellowstone National Park", how we honeymooned there and want to go back because the kids have been begging to go but I didn't feel like scanning my photos. Then I was going to write about "yuck" because it's just been that kind of day, but I couldn't find a way to do it without sounding horrible. Then there was "yellow" but again, I decided to use better judgment so tonight I'm just going to leave it up to one word: yum.
and the clean-up can't be beat!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
W... Wacky Weather
It's not wacky.
It's wet.
Weather in Washington is wet on a weekly basis. While we wish we weren't waterlogged, we are. And while we are waiting for a weekend without wain we will wrap our arms around wet, muddy wee ones!
It's wet.
Weather in Washington is wet on a weekly basis. While we wish we weren't waterlogged, we are. And while we are waiting for a weekend without wain we will wrap our arms around wet, muddy wee ones!
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