Half-Way to Half-Way There

Still plugging along here! Even with the fear of jinxing myself, I've started to feel a bit better. I'm still tired but the extreme dizziness seems to have subsided for the most part. I still feel a bit disconnected from my body, both literally and figuratively, but it's getting better which is nice since I'd been feeling it since just after 5 weeks. It started on the way home from my parents house a month or so ago and really hadn't let up much. Now I've moved into the can't. stop. eating. phase that I don't remember so much with Rylan but sure do with Karleigh. Of course I also gained twice as much weight with her so I'll just have to make sure that's it's healthy things with which I constantly stuff my face!

I had my first "real" OB appointment yesterday. You know, the 'exciting' pee in a cup, cringe at your weight, blood pressure check, chat with the nurse, see the doc, ask any questions, schedule your next appointment... which was good because I had to pee, I've weighed more not pregnant, 120/70 isn't bad, I like Dr. C's nurse, I also like Dr. C, he answered my couple of questions, he had me schedule again for in two weeks to keep my anxiety in check.

The more detailed version... before he came in I head the familiar thump, jiggle, bonk of the bedside ultrasound machine. I have a love/hate relationship with that machine. I love seeing my baby on the screen "in real life" but I hate seeing my dead baby on the screen. Every time he turns it on I know that it can go either way. Yesterday it went the way I love. It was hard to see the heartbeat at first because baby was moving around so much. The internal struggle that followed was quite amusing in hindsight... "oh no, I don't see the heartbeat... because the baby is moving too much... is it even alive?... it needs to stop moving so I can see the heartbeat." Yes, I'm just that crazy.

Doing this again is really, really hard.

I think it's more difficult this time around because after we lost Eli you just kind of feel like, ok, we got through that and of course we'll have a healthy baby this time around because that's what's fair. Well, life isn't fair. So this time around I don't have that mental safety net that I had with Collin. I know it can happen. I know it can happen more than once and I know that it can happen at any time and while it's one thing to "know" it, I think it's another thing to live it.

Back to the upside though, I got to see arms, legs, fingers and toes, eyes, the jaw bone and everything else looking just as it should right now. Oh, and a beating heart.

First Day of School Re-do!

OK, I guess not really a "re-do" but today was Rylan's first day of preschool. He attends preschool just across the hall from Karleigh's Kindergarten classroom. The bus picks him up and brings him home and if today is any indication he's going to have a great time! It was funny, after lunch he got all dressed so I could take pictures. Obviously, he was paying attention last week!

Pics with Dad and Mom! (apparently I'm going to gain weight in my face this time... geesh!)

Karleigh and Rylan's buses are supposed to arrive at just about the same time. Rylan's driver has to pull into the driveway and can't pick him up along the road like Karleigh's bus. It became clear, why, when she arrived. Miss Judy has to get up and strap the kids in with their integrated car seats with 5-point harness and extra safety belt... YAY! Rylan loved that she let him do the chest clip himself (and then double checked it which made mom happy).

Obviously he had a great day as he was all smiles getting off of the bus this afternoon too! We asked him how it went...

"Great!"

He had recess, apples and crackers for snack, needed help with his pants button, met new friends and when we asked him what his favorite part of the day was...

"Going to school!"

His teacher is really nice, she sends home a notebook for notes which facilitate a running dialog about the day, issues, questions, etc. Very handy! Today: "Rylan had a great first day! He enjoyed playing with play dough, dinosaurs and the kitchen area. It was difficult for him to stay longer than 5 minutes at any given area. I'm sure this will increase as he becomes familiar with the room." I predicted that's what would happen... he was allowed free-for-all play time during Karleigh's Kindy intro classes last spring. We talked to him about it and how we would love it if he would listen to Teacher T and stay at each activity until it's time to move on. His response was so typical of my kid "I know, I know. Today I was just get up and move, get up and move, get up and move! I'll try harder tomorrow, OK?" OK big boy!

School is Cool

I guess I never posted about Karleigh's first day of school. It was a fairly uneventful day in the grand scheme of things and she loved it! Her big worry was her outfit since she knew it would be too hot for what she originally had planned, this outfit but a sweater vest and knee socks. I think she did a pretty good job. It ended up being 95 degrees on her first day!

She got to school no problem, and the Kindy kids on our route ride the mini-bus to save gas since there's only about 15 kiddos and the bus holds 30. It's nice that she gets a seat belt on the way into town. She sat at the orange table with one other girl and two boys, she had recess where she played tether ball will her friends from pre-school, they had snack time, they had song time and story circle where they read a story about the first day of school. She told us all about the cover and the title page... incidentally, she was quite annoyed that they went over that again on Monday ;) She colored a bus picture and then they pasted together a school bus poem. She loves that the 4th graders come downstairs and partner up with the kindergarten kids on the way out to the buses at the end of the day.

Speaking of buses at the end of the day... her first trip home... the bell rings at 3:10, she got home at 5 minutes to 5! Apparently the bus that she was supposed to take home had some sort of issue so the driver had to switch buses at some point. He also has the middle school route out here so as soon as he completed that one, he had to go get the little kids. It wasn't a big deal to me or Karleigh but she sure had to go potty by the time she got off the bus! I figure if that's the biggest drama... no problem!


She was thrilled to go back Monday and today and she seems to be having a great time. The school has curriculum night on Thursday so it will be nice to see what the teachers have planned for the year. Kids are, however, discouraged from attending. Luckily, Rylan's teacher has her session from 6:00 - 6:45 and Karleigh's teacher has her session from 6:45 - 7:30 so I won't have to miss either one and Jim will just watch the kiddos.

Speaking of Rylan, he starts on Monday and he can't wait! They both have next Friday off, I have a doctor's appointment, Jim has to work late and Karleigh has her first official Daisy Scouts meeting. It was kind of nice to have this summer to just hang out especially after a few years of go, go, go to play dates and activities and such. But... it's game on again!

T Minus 15 Hours

While tucking Karleigh into bed tonight she said "I'm just going to go to sleep. The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I will be a Kindergartner!"
Yup, she will be.
She and I went to her orientation this afternoon where we went over all the nitty gritty like snack, busing, recess... all the important things! It was nice to see her so calm and comfortable in the classroom today. I have no doubt that she'll have a good time and that it'll seem to be over far to quick for her.

Since I'm not going to school with her tomorrow (and they did encourage the parents to just make it a normal day) I decided to take my camera with me today and just snapped 2 pics at the end of orientation.

Wordless Wednesday

Karleigh's Coat

I finally got around to snapping a picture of the munchkin in her purple coat that grandma sent the other day. It's not the best pic of the coat since she was being crazy (and wearing Hannah Montana pj pants!) but I love this color on her and will match a lot of her fall outfits for this year. This was her "here, I'm smiling but I'd rather be down playing in the muddy creek with my brother" smile. So the small countdown has begun and school starts for her on Friday! She's still having a hard time deciding what she's going to wear - I know, the horror - because it's supposed to be about 85 degrees and the outfit she really wants to wear has knee socks and a sweater vest and since she's in the afternoon session, it really will be warm.

What else is going on? We've been to a birthday party which was fun and finally kicked me in gear to start planning Rylan's birthday party for next month. He is standing firm in his decision and wants a monkey party. So, a monkey party he shall have! He's picked out the cake that he prefers and basically just said that he wants a monkey cake, balloons, and his friend Kaden, so that's easy enough! It'll be a nice, mellow, simple party this year, my parents, his little friends family (hopefully!) and us. I'll still stress out about it way more than necessary, spend too much time on a cake and way too many revisions on his invitation. =)

I'm seven and a half weeks now with just enough ookeyness to keep me feeling like it's really real. I don't actually get sick (knock on wood) but I do have a constant feeling of motion sickness that increases throughout the day. However, changing my vitamin did help that out a bit. Our next appointment isn't until the 25th but between school starting, Daisy Scout meetings, planning for Rylan's birthday and regular ol' life, I'm hoping it goes pretty quickly and without too much anxiety.

Whoosha, Whoosha, Whoosha.

Yesterday we got boxes in the mail from grandma and grandpa's trip to England to visit Uncle Mark and Aunt Lacey. Rylan scored an excellent soccer uniform that he loves! He wore it until bedtime and asked about it first thing this morning. Karleigh also got some really neat things including a beautiful plum wool coat that she'll model later. It was a great distraction last night as they plowed through the boxes and checked everything out.

This morning was full of anxiety for me. I tried to push it aside and let it go as much as possible but it was still rough. All of that because my follow-up ultrasound was this morning. Would there be a heartbeat? There would. I was quickly able to see the tiny flicker through the transabdominal ultrasound which was a nice relief. We did get a closer look and everything is measuring right on, to the day. The little heart was beating at a rate of 146 beats per minute so that part is great.

Statistics say, once you see that heartbeat and everything is measuring correctly, there's a 90% chance that the baby will make it to full-term. Statistics haven't been our friend in the past so we continue to pray, try to let go and be thankful for each day that we have... which is pretty much what we should be doing under any circumstances.