Karleigh's Coat

I finally got around to snapping a picture of the munchkin in her purple coat that grandma sent the other day. It's not the best pic of the coat since she was being crazy (and wearing Hannah Montana pj pants!) but I love this color on her and will match a lot of her fall outfits for this year. This was her "here, I'm smiling but I'd rather be down playing in the muddy creek with my brother" smile. So the small countdown has begun and school starts for her on Friday! She's still having a hard time deciding what she's going to wear - I know, the horror - because it's supposed to be about 85 degrees and the outfit she really wants to wear has knee socks and a sweater vest and since she's in the afternoon session, it really will be warm.

What else is going on? We've been to a birthday party which was fun and finally kicked me in gear to start planning Rylan's birthday party for next month. He is standing firm in his decision and wants a monkey party. So, a monkey party he shall have! He's picked out the cake that he prefers and basically just said that he wants a monkey cake, balloons, and his friend Kaden, so that's easy enough! It'll be a nice, mellow, simple party this year, my parents, his little friends family (hopefully!) and us. I'll still stress out about it way more than necessary, spend too much time on a cake and way too many revisions on his invitation. =)

I'm seven and a half weeks now with just enough ookeyness to keep me feeling like it's really real. I don't actually get sick (knock on wood) but I do have a constant feeling of motion sickness that increases throughout the day. However, changing my vitamin did help that out a bit. Our next appointment isn't until the 25th but between school starting, Daisy Scout meetings, planning for Rylan's birthday and regular ol' life, I'm hoping it goes pretty quickly and without too much anxiety.

Whoosha, Whoosha, Whoosha.

Yesterday we got boxes in the mail from grandma and grandpa's trip to England to visit Uncle Mark and Aunt Lacey. Rylan scored an excellent soccer uniform that he loves! He wore it until bedtime and asked about it first thing this morning. Karleigh also got some really neat things including a beautiful plum wool coat that she'll model later. It was a great distraction last night as they plowed through the boxes and checked everything out.

This morning was full of anxiety for me. I tried to push it aside and let it go as much as possible but it was still rough. All of that because my follow-up ultrasound was this morning. Would there be a heartbeat? There would. I was quickly able to see the tiny flicker through the transabdominal ultrasound which was a nice relief. We did get a closer look and everything is measuring right on, to the day. The little heart was beating at a rate of 146 beats per minute so that part is great.

Statistics say, once you see that heartbeat and everything is measuring correctly, there's a 90% chance that the baby will make it to full-term. Statistics haven't been our friend in the past so we continue to pray, try to let go and be thankful for each day that we have... which is pretty much what we should be doing under any circumstances.

Just Around the Corner

School is just around the corner for these two. They had me snap a quick picture the other day before we headed out to the school BBQ and open house. And yes, it's just around the corner for us... at least it feels like it. However, I also think that they just might be the very last two kids on the planet to start this year. I could be exaggerating a little bit but Karleigh's first real day is the 11th and Rylan's is the 21st.

The plan, so far is for Karleigh just to get on the bus and go to school. I've always liked when parents have pics of the kiddos in their classroom but at the same time, I know it's rather disruptive and Karleigh said she just wants to ride the bus.
"I think I'll miss you less if I just get on the bus and get it over with."
Fair enough.
I suppose she should have a say in things. I do think it's kind of funny though. She's happily been to the school no less than 10 times already and didn't have a problem with pre-school but we'll see. I do think she'll be fine though. The "three amigos", Karleigh and her two friends from preschool, are each in a different class. Which I actually think is a good thing. She'll be forced, in a way, to make new and different friends which will be god for her. She'll see the other two at Daisy Scouts anyway.

Yesterday included finding school shoes for her crazy skinny feet. We did have some success and now she is set, set, SET for school to start. Next week she has a quick orientation to ask any questions and drop off her supplies... and then it's game on! I'm sure she's far more ready than I am :)

News from the new baby department: not much to tell. I've been feeling kind of ooky which should be reassuring. I did change my vitamin and that helped a bit. Also, I have another u/s on Friday morning. I'd appreciate any and all prayers for a healthy, growing baby and very little anxiety.

What I Was Going to Say...

I was lying in bed this morning, or last night, or somewhere in between being woken up by a hot flash or a bad dream and started questioning things.
Is this baby going to make it?
Can I handle 3 kids?
Why have I been the one chosen to walk this path?
I don't know.

Anyway, I was thinking about maybe I'm just pushing too hard for something that isn't "supposed" to happen. Praying too hard for something that wasn't meant to be... I don't know. It doesn't need to be a blame game but it's hard not to look for reasons. The rational me (don't laugh, there's a rational part of me) knows that this is not how God works but at the same time the irrational me says "well, you asked for it". At any rate, this morning I read this post about this type of thing and frankly, Jennifer puts it much more clear than I could have at this point.

Today I went for my first why-in-the-world-are-you-seeing-me-so-mega-early? ultrasound. The good news is that there is a gestational sac and a yolk sac, right where they should be and they're measuring a day ahead and we could see the very beginning of the fetal pole. Oh and another fab cyst on my left ovary. The neither good nor bad news at this point is that it was too early to see a heart beat... which I totally expected. Of course I had hoped that there would be, but not yet.

So, after a quick appointment with Dr. C, I left with a bunch of prenatal samples, another ultrasound order for next Friday morning and a regular appointment in four weeks. So, more waiting. But? on the bright side, everything is where it's supposed to be and looks healthy for date. So right now...
I'm thankful for that.

Nerves...

I sure wish I had nerves of steel but anymore? I do not. Tomorrow afternoon is the first ultrasound for this pregnancy. It will be the earliest one I've had so far and I'm not expecting to see much more than a gestational sac and yolk sac... hopefully. Also, my appointment got moved back a couple hours so now it's not until 1:30 because the Dr. wanted to see me immediately following the ultrasound.

On the upside, because of the appointment change, my girlfriend is bringing her new baby girl over so I can get some pics of her and then she's going to stick around and watch all four kids, her two (under one!) and our two so that Jim can go to the appointment with me. I was just going to go to her place after the appointment. We've been horrible at asking for help in watching the kids so Jim has missed out on a lot of the "good" appointments and also the really "bad" appointments too. I really, really pray that tomorrow gets to fall under the "good" category. Of course I'm very familiar with the reality that even a perfect appointment can quickly turn the other way. So still, it's day by day for me.

While I agree with Dr. B and love it when science works... I believe that there's more to it. God is totally in control of this and that helps me calm down when I start feeling like I'm totally out of control...
because I am.

Flyby Friday...

Just a quick Friday flyby with an update on my hcg numbers from today. They came back at 4641. So, that's a good thing! Dr. B is the one who called today and he practically sounded giddy and nearly yelled "I love it when science finally works!" Me too, Dr. B. Me too.