Q... Quixotic

What do you do with your quixotic thoughts?

I have this one that I've had for years. The end result is this incredible, seamless picture that I can see, very clearly, in my mind. However, the chances of it coming to fruition are minuscule. There are so many roadblocks: the attitudes of those around me, money, space, time, capability...fear.

Yet, I feel like it's this thing that just keeps poking and poking and poking at me.
Like a woodpecker.
In the back of my head.

How do you determine the difference between something being a true "calling" and being a quixotic daydream that's driven by something similar to envy? Or do you feel envious because you see your daydream being realized by someone else?

Quite the quandary that likely requires more quietude.

P... Posing for Photos

I hate it. Hate posing for photos.
It's, literally, painful for me.
To say I'm much more comfortable behind my camera would be a major. HUGE. understatement.
I've never been a photogenic person. As a child I messed up many a family and school picture.
It's still pointed out.
And joked about.
But at least now we're in the digital age so countless photos can be snapped to get a decent one without "wasting" film on me.

This A-Z Challenge is about pushing ourselves and I've been trying to move outside of my comfort zone in several areas. This area would take a whole lot more work than I'm willing to put in. I know the "rules" for getting a pleasing photo - if you're a woman and it bends, bend it. Chin slightly down and out... yet, when it comes to me. ACK!

P is also for promise and I promised Ella that I would post a picture of the Shabby Apple dress that I won on her blog. It arrived yesterday evening so I had Jim go out and take a few pics.
I felt ridiculous.
The pictures were... eh.

So, today I took Rylan outside with me. It's always easier for me, if my kid is behind the camera. They judge less and talk like they're professionals. Rylan was all: "turn a little more" "you look beeeeeautiful!" "Nice!" It's fun to set him up and just let him go. Jim... he doesn't judge but you know... another adult... very different.

Anyway! I found one in the bunch that I was ok with:

I really like the idea behind this dress and it is very comfortable! However, for me, to be perfect, it needs some tweaking. I'm not built like a model so the front darts hit me in a kind of funny place (which is odd because if I were taller, they'd hit me even lower I think) and the color of the top is a pretty tough sell but I don't have anything like it so it was wonderful to receive it and I can't wait to try it out a few other ways. Thanks Ella!

O... Oranges

Oranges!
Orange is totally Rylan's favorite color. It always has been, which I've always found a bit odd because well... orange? Not many people choose that as their favorite color.
But he is steadfast.
Orange IS the best color.
Also? Oranges have always been one of his favorite foods. The kid would eat mandarin orange packs hand over fist. He was able to peel and eat clementines from a very young age. If we have to grab fast food, we usually end up at Wendy's so that he can choose oranges over fries. You get the idea.

I thought it would be fun to look up what it could possibly mean. Here's what this website had to say:
Orange: This color of luxury and pleasure appeals to the flamboyant and fun-loving person who likes a lively social round. Orange people may be inclined to dramatize a bit, and people notice them, but they are generally good-natured and popular. They can be a little fickle and vacillating, but on the whole they try hard to be agreeable. Orange is the color of youth, strength, fearlessness, curiosity and restlessness.

Yup, my little dude seems to come by his love of orange naturally!

N... Nurture

We nurture our children. It's nature! Karleigh has really been looking for her niche and it's so fun to watch her start to realize where she excels, to watch her embrace that and to watch her work towards improving while we cheer her on.

Today she had a soccer game and scored three goals. She's pretty cute out there, seems to have a love for the game and genuinely enjoys her time out there. Besides being an incredible student, I also think she has an eye for art and she enjoys that too. This evening we went into Portland to have dinner with a wonderful family that is in town from north of Seattle. On the way back to the van Karleigh asked if she could take some pictures so of course I told her "yes!" (I love the idea of doing an photo walk) After she took them, I asked her what she saw in them and she loved all the bright colors and personality so I got home and bumped two of them up a bit in photoshop.

I may get frustrated, anger too quickly, get annoyed too easily but nurturing my children is something I adore!

M... MOMents

Life is made up of lots of moments. But as a mom, some of those are just MOMents. At 7:00 this morning, my baby girl turned one.
Our Stelly Bean.
Our realized dream.
The baby we hoped and prayed and tried and cried for for over 3 years.
The baby who helped soften some of the scars of the past.
The baby who looks more like her mom than her dad.
The baby who hates to get dirty.
Who instead of going crazy in her baths, just lies back and relaxes like she's at the spa.
Who loves bunnies, bubbles, balloons, powdered donuts, family, playing tag and long naps.
She's serious and loving but also has a funny bone.
She's everything we hoped she would be.
She's more than we imagined she could be.
And I am beyond thankful for every moment with her and for each MOMent with which she blesses me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET STELLA CLAIRE!

L... Lost

Lost in a land of little people and little Little People.



...it's been fun!

K... Kristi

That's me. ...taken this afternoon as I waited for Rylan to get done with school today. I dropped my camera and before it hit the floor of the van, my finger hit the shutter button and that was the result. I was going to delete it but then thought it was kind of interesting. An odd perspective - thank goodness no boogers! I realized that it's probably really close to the perspective that my kids have of me quite frequently. And while I sat in the quiet of the van, Stella sleeping away behind me, Jim waiting outside Rylan's classroom door, I had a chance to really think about what it must be like to be one of my kids.

To be the ones looking at that face all the time.

During the "I love you's" and the "that decision really disappointed me's" and the "just stop!'s". There have been lots of the former and too many of the latter. I have felt really tested by Rylan lately. He is such a smart, smart kid but he also has some quirky behaviors. I have never been the mom of a 5 1/2 year old boy before so I don't even know what I should be expecting of him. He has been making behavioral improvements at school by leaps and bounds but at home we're still dealing with some issues. Thankfully, he is not a bully, he's not mean, he doesn't have a mean bone in his body but he does have a lot of energy and he can be verbally defiant. And honestly, it can get exhausting keeping his mind busy. He is constantly asking me math problems or asking me to ask him math problems or he'll practice counting by 4's because he has the 1's, 2's, 5's and 10's down pat. He'll come to me and ask me how to spell random words and if we don't keep his mind busy he starts going a little bonkers. Anyway, I get frustrated too easily with him (with both of the older kids actually) and I hate the thought of what I look like from their perspective. Hate it.

So, with this one picture I saw the light bulb. I have come to realize that I have pretty high expectations. Kindness in a non-negotiable, however I'm going to try to lighten up a bit in other areas and see what happens. I want my kids to see and remember Kind Kristi and not Krazy Kristi.